A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face

was plastered with red lipstick,

and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking

out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man

turned to the priest and asked,

'Say Father,

what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's

caused by loose living,

being with

cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol,

contempt for your fellow man,

sleeping around with prostitutes

and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response,

'Well, I'll be damned, '

Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what

he had said, nudged the man and

apologized. 'I'm very sorry.

I didn't mean to come on so strong.

How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father.

I was just reading here that the Pope does.'